Have you ever been in a situation where you had to walk away with no goodbye?  I often think of times growing up when I would go with my grandma and grandpa to an annual picnic in Youngstown, IN.  We would arrive early and stay late.  You would meet kids, play, eat and play some more.  Then all the sudden when my grandparents were ready to leave, I couldn’t find the kids I had just met to say goodbye.  I never had a chance to say goodbye……………………..

This happened to me this week.  I never had a chance to say goodbye.  I know this won’t reach all the people I will want it too, but hopefully those who follow my post will share it with those who don’t and somehow the love will be shared.

When I look back on my last 5 years, so many people and so many events have changed my life.  Some great, some not so great, but that is life isn’t it?  In the beginning I was scared, unsure if I was even worthy to take the task on, but I am so glad I did.  God gave me choices back then and he will now.  But I chose you!  Someone also made a decision to choose me and I can’t thank her enough for that choice.  She took a risk, she was a willing mentor, she was strong, independent thinker and God was number one in her life.  I would only come to realize how important that would become to me later.  Just sorry it took so long and that I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to her (I was in the hospital when she started her new journey).  In these choices I grew up more than you know.   Took on more challenges, more experiences, more of everything.  You made me feel worthy and made me feel like the risk was worth taking.

I attended training in the beginning which I thought was great and in that training I met peers and shared real situations and possible futures.  If you would have asked me back then if I would be where I am now, I would tell you “Hell know” (sorry, that would have been my reaction back then). In my graduation of that training, one person stood up and stood out.  He commented about me and for me when he was not required to do so.  Thank you my friend and thank you for always listening to me.

The following years to come would be about the people, yes the people.  I got to know many of you well.  We shared many stories about our families, our friends and our experiences at home, work, and church.  Thank you for always sharing with me and I hope you all stay in touch and continue to share these experiences.

The leaders, some great, some not so great, but again that is life isn’t it?  And remember this is only though my eyes, not yours.  So those I thought great, you might not have agreed and vice versa.  I don’t and never have judged you for that and thank you for not judging me.  The leaders that I thought made a difference know who they are as I always made contact, gave a smile, follow-up and follow through.  For those who I think where not so great, you too made more of an impact that you will ever realize, as it was you that constantly challenged how real my faith is and how much I could withstand.  So thank you for making me stronger, thank you for grounding me in God and family are most important in my life.

Now the best for last!  I watched you marry, have children, and buy homes.  I have watched you grow, cry, and live.  I have spent 5 years getting to know you, your families, and your friends .  What an amazing experience you have given me.  I will miss you all the most.  In the beginning I thought you needed saving, but I have come to realize you have ‘saved’ me.   You have made the biggest impact and I will be forever grateful.  Thank you for allowing me to share your life and sorry that I never had a chance to say goodbye…………………

Luv, luv,

Julie